i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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