u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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