Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
