So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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