you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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