she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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