Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
