I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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