Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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