drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
