i don't like sucking hair
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
