Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize