I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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