I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
