i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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