Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize