I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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