i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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