I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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