You were right. It hurts to walk today.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
