My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
