I will die if light touches me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
