I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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