I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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