First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
