Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
