My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
