i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
