We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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