im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
