you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We talked him into tasing himself.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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