He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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