She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
