I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
