I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I have aggressive nipples.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize