I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
