my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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