Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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