when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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