make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
