my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
