i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
