yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
