she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
