I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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