love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
