I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sorry about my life...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
