is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
