She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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