Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
