as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
