You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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