I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
