Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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