He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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