I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
