After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
