Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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