I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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