There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
