:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
