when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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