is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize