I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
