In the future we'll all be gay
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Two words: blizzard sex
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