you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize