A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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