So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize