It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
