and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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