you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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