i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
