just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
