yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
