we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize