Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
