i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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