I heard we made out
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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