he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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