I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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