Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
