You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
